The Mirror
by Amorye
Summary: A mysterious disappearance leaves her broken. Now that her life was back in order, he comes back. Tanza, Filling. Sorry, crappy pair names for now. :P
1. Prologue

**The Mirror**

I hinted at this in The Playground. Well, the basic story line, but that was all. Anyway, this was inspired by Twilight. Now, before you go all Edward-fangirling or Twilight-overratedness-bashing on me, I'm not a big fan. I liked the story, but it is not one of my favorites. Because of plot bunnies about vampires, I just _had_ to write this. Not that it's a bad thing, really. I've always had a fascination with vampires, so I decided to go research and write something about it. Like Twilight, this will be mostly on romance, but I will not be following that story line.

Now, as far as research about vampires goes, it will be incorporated into what I make up about vampires, since I'm really not sure if they do exist. So it's up to you to believe what I make up, write, and research. I'm not sure if I'll be dragging in lycanthropes, but I think I may need to do so since vampires and lycanthropes have been known to have mutual antagonism, and could provide a source for conflict.

I am a Catholic. But I will not be putting any references to religion here, as I know others may not be comfortable with having to go with my beliefs.

With that said, I hope this will answer any objections you may have for writing this. If you have questions, feel free to put it in your review or PM me.

I still don't own Fillmore! because if I did, there would be more episodes.

Now, finally, here's the story after that long disclaimer. Read, review, enjoy.

**Leaving will always leave hope for coming back.**

_He's gone. And he won't be coming back._

Two years ago, my world nearly ended. I've gotten so close, but then it gets taken away. Just when I thought that everything was going so good, it whirls around and hits me right on my heart. All the time I'd wasted to have grieved the loss was completely pointless.

I was stupid enough to believe that I actually had a chance. A chance at getting what I'd always wanted. A chance to be happy. A chance to feel special. To feel loved. To be loved.

I tried to forget the pain. I really did.

Everything I'd been doing is rendering ineffective in hopes of trying to forget. I wish that I had been able to erase the memories that gashed my heart. When he left, my world came crashing down. The only good thing I got out of it was an incredible weight loss. But I became paler, weaker. Fragile.

Until someone picked up the shattered pieces of the mirror of my life. What you saw, you got. Because of my broken world, you couldn't see me. You wouldn't understand me. That person did. That person fixed the mirror. I saw myself.

Broken.

Beaten.

A girl that cracked over one loss.

A girl that needed someone to fix her life.

A girl that was given a second chance to fix her life.

But no matter what happened, it was still a mirror. They may have become pieces, but they became the pieces of my life. What I saw in the mirror, it was no one else. It was me. I made up my life. I made these decisions. I decided what would happen to me, even if I didn't know it.

That second chance allowed me to see things as they truly were. Except, this time, I saw cracks. A lasting memory that will always remind me of my weakness. One more mistake like that, and my world would crash down again.

And I doubt anyone would come to save me.

Over the next two years, I'd managed to block out the pain. I never forgot, and I lived my life as anyone would. Loved it. I went to parties, made friends, got good grades. And I fell in love with someone.

That someone was the one that saved me.

But now, the present, I felt the mirror begin to crack again.

He's _back_. I wouldn't believe it, I couldn't. But people confirmed it. He was coming back. The mysterious two-year disappearance finally came to an end.

We had questions. But I was sure we would not get answers.

I was sure that we would get more questions.

Either that, or we would get nothing at all.

Mystery surrounds his return. Everyone wanted to know, as much as I wanted. When it happened, they asked. But I didn't know. No one did. He just left. And he just came back.

And I fear that something big is going to happen once he comes back.

Yes, it's extremely short, but how was that for a start? Without the author's notes, perhaps it would be about five hundred to six hundred words. Please do review. :D


	2. Returns

**The Mirror**

I'm thinking about crossing this with Twilight. Should I? For some reason, Breaking Dawn gave me a plot bunny. :P Even though I really didn't like it. Once again, I don't own either Twilight nor Fillmore.

So, rated for swear words, slightly mature themes. I like Wayne's perspective. XD Enjoy!

Illusions

I splashed cold water against my face and stared at the reflection in the mirror. My eyes looked bright, but the surrounding skin appeared dull and pale. I shook my head. I'd definitely changed. It was probably only now I'd noticed, I guess.

I am a junior now at X High, one of the largest and most developed public schools here. The best comparison I can give to describe it is that it's like a small city. Its' facilities range from a sauna to a shoe polishing station, a massage room to a hair salon, and many more. Most of the facilities are used by a corresponding club or elective.

I have French elective, but I'm only required attendance once a week, not twice, since I work as a forensics officer in the Safety Patrol, the sort of CSI-NYPD department of the school. Like I said, there's pretty much everything in the school. One could hardly believe it was a public school.

I combed my dark hair until it was smooth. The pink dye was gone. Only soft black hair remained, let down and much longer. Sideswept bangs partially covered my forehead, and I tossed it, to avoid looking too uptight. I applied moisturizer and my eyeliner and clear mascara, since my lashes were long enough.

I stared at myself again. I'd grown thinner again. Either that or taller. Far as I know, I was five-foot-seven, and one hundred and five pounds. Yep, I think I did lose weight. Which wasn't good, because I was already too thin. I just don't seem to be able to get myself to eat properly. I guess it was because of the depression I'd had before.

And _that_. That other thing that's been bothering me.

I wasn't looking forward to today because rumors were circulating, about _him_ coming back. He just left three-fourths of the way through eighth grade without any explanations and without any goodbyes.

_He_was Joseph Anza. Joseph Aspen Anza, the most mysterious and intriguing boy I have ever known. He was tall, extremely handsome, and quiet most of the time. He was quite popular but didn't want any attention. He preferred being in the background, busying himself with things he thought were important.

I'd fallen in love with him at the start of eighth grade, when everyone was starting, and some, continuing, to show signs of adolescence. He and I weren't exactly friends back in sixth grade, but we grew closer as we were assigned partners in seventh grade. I hardly got to spend time with other friends thanks to an overload of safety patrol work, that he was the only one I could hang out with. So things happened.

Our friendship eventually started becoming into much more at the start of our last year in middle school. He was my first kiss, which happened in the Winter Formal. Which was also the final night I saw him. Though, I didn't observe any strange behaviour from him that night.

Someone rapped on the door, and I jumped. I think I was too far in thought.

"Karen!" said my sister, Angeline, her voice slightly annoyed. "Come on."

Angeline drove me to school. She attended college at Yale, which was pretty near.

I pulled on a random top and slipped on a pair of capris. I went out of the bathroom and raced across my room to my shoe cabinet. I picked out from the infinite cubbyholes a pair of flip-flops and shut the door. I walked over to the other cabinet and took a sweater and grabbed my bag from my bed, and ran downstairs. Angeline hated waiting.

We had a driver, but Angeline preferred to drive since she did receive a car for her sixteenth birthday, and enjoyed her independence. It was pretty much a status symbol too, since it was a four-wheel-drive Lexus.

I bid my mother goodbye before leaving.

I don't know if it was just me, but I saw a figure looming in the distance, but when I turned, I found no one there.

I shivered, and ran inside the black car.

Beautiful Disaster

I stepped out of the car and walked to the safety patrol headquarters.

"Tehama, you're early." said our commander, Christian Marcus, a senior. He was strict but fair. Rumors mentioned he was gay, but I highly doubted that. He was as straight as a ruler. "Nice shirt."

"Uh, thanks." I said, briefly glancing at my blouse. It was a dress-shirt from Juicy Couture, a gift from Joseph. Oh God, everything reminded me of him. Of course it had to be nice.

I set down my things, but I felt Christian's eyes on me the whole time.

"What is it?" I said.

"Joseph Anza. Returning student, vanished at the end of eighth grade and went missing for two years." he said. "I know you have a past with him, Karen. The rumors are true. He's back. In fact, he's on his way here right now."

"What?!" I exclaimed. On his way? _On his way?_ Oh my God. Here? What was I going to do? What could I say?

The door burst open, and an tall, impossibly flawless, pale boy, no, _man_, entered the room with surprising grace and lightness. His hair was dark, casual, and his clothes were simple, but looked very expensive. His icy blue eyes held a fierce gaze, and his posture was purposive, as if all movements were exacted.

This was not the Joseph Anza I knew. He was far more different than I could remember. He was only four steps in, and his fixed gaze on Christian did not break. Christian simply waited for him.

"Anza, Joseph?"

"Correct." he said. I shivered. That voice. The ghost of the past. Deep, almost musical, one I had longed for for the past years. "I was asked to come here first, although I'm not quite sure why."

"Likewise I was told to expect you. Well, you're only here to view your student files and to collect your class schedules. Perhaps if you're interested, rejoin the ranks of the safety patrol, or collect forms for an elective or club." said Christian, as he dug through a file cabinet. He pulled out a manila folder and handed it to Joseph.

"Allow me to think about it first." he said, appearing disinterested, but his voice hinted at being interested. He knew how to answer.

Even his manner of speaking was different. _What happened_?

He scanned the files and gave a curt nod to Christian. "Thank you." he said, simply. "I will return if ever I require any more assistance."

"You're always welcome to." said Christian, and he stared after Joseph's retreating figure as if he'd just seen a man for the first time in his life.

And he moved towards me. Our eyes met for a few moments, and went to the door. I didn't know what to make of that. I was still watching him. And he turned, his finger motioning for me to follow. Christian allowed me.

I stood up and followed him, knees shaking, palms sweating.

Yes, what a beautiful disaster I was.

I followed him out the door, but I was afraid to speak.

Once we were outside, he settled under a tree, leaning against it, his sharp, angular features highlighted by the morning sun. Never had I seen him so amazingly gorgeous.

His complexion was smooth alabaster, and appeared stone hard if I even thought about touching it. Not that I could anyway.

"Why so nervous, Karen?" he said. My heart skipped a few beats, and then pounded fervently in my chest.

"It's just that..." I said, my voice barely audible; I could hardly hear it myself.

"That what?" he said. I had no idea how he heard me.

"It's been so long. I just... don't know what to do, what to say... I have so many questions..." I mumbled, unable to meet his gaze. His hand tilted my chin up, but I jumped at the contact. His touch was like I had placed a metal can in the freezer for an hour and placed my chin on top of it.

"Sorry." he said, his blue eyes sparkling, as if he was amused. Well, I think he really was. "But those questions can't be answered. For now at least. There is a right time for everything to be revealed, my dearest."

I could only stare at him.

"Do not worry, however. All will be revealed. To you, at the very most. Perhaps even to our old friends, but only they can know the truth. If I remain long enough for them to know, and if I believe they are still worthy of trust..." he said. "But for now, it is only I that shall know. I shall reveal to you what you want to know in time."

"Joseph... I just want to know why you left so suddenly." I said. It was the first question that came out of my mouth, despite the several thousands of them running through my head.

He sighed, pulling away slightly.

"I suppose I do owe you something." he said, sighing. "I figured a leave without any of you knowing would hurt less. I was assuming I would never come back. But I was wrong. It seems my parents changed their mind and wanted to stay here."

"Why did you leave?"

"Would you rather I lie to you and tell you something, or be quiet and withhold the truth until the right time?" he said, his face remaining completely composed despite the sharpness of his words. I figured I looked like a stupid nutcase next to him.

I sighed. Pressing an answer out would be impossible. "I'll wait then."

"Just as I thought." he said. "I shall not keep you any longer. You have work to do. Goodbye."

And as quickly as he came, he disappeared.

Once a Mystery, Always a Mystery. Not.

As thrilled as I was to have Anza back, it was definitely strange at how sudden things happened. He left, and he comes back out of nowhere, looking paler, taller, and more flawless than ever, to the point when I started being kind of insecure. I didn't know if he turned goth or something, but whatever it was, it was pretty much working for him. No, it _worked_ for him.

I rubbed my glasses clean. It was nice to return to headquarters. It was spruced up over the summer, and I believe the central air conditioning was more than well-deserved.

I'm Cornelius Fillmore, a safety patrol officer for X High. I've been an officer since sixth grade, after Wayne changed my perspective on my whole life. Wayne would be Wayne Leggitt, who left for Tennessee but came back last year. He was always the good guy, the one that followed the book all the time. He brought his work with him, meaning he wasn't just an officer while on duty, but also when he was not.

I've just started my junior year at X High, and Joseph's return was something everyone had been buzzing about ever since last week. He was our junior commissioner in eighth grade, after Vallejo, since I didn't want to leave Ingrid without a partner. Nor did I trust anyone else to be her partner. It was either me or no one else. But that's another story for another day.

Going back, his abrupt leave perplexed everyone. For once, even Principal Folsom couldn't comment. As far as everyone knew, he had pretty much a perfect life. He had good friends, a nice position, all the money he could ever need, the looks, the smarts... and Folsom just replaced him with me. Ingrid was still allowed to be my partner, since I refused to take the position unless she could still be with me. Only a few months remained for school anyway.

I'd lost a good friend without a reason. For a while, I could say I was angry at him, but eventually, it turned to sadness, and lasting worry. Every day, or every other, I'd call someone he knew, in the hope that he would be back. Even O'Farrell started acting weird. He wasn't as much of a comic relief as he was before. It was usually him and Joseph that would provide that especially when things were tense.

But no matter how much she hated to admit it, Karen Tehama was the most shaken of us all. She had difficulty adjusting to being without Joseph. It took Wayne to help her out. He helped her lessen the pain. He took care of her and listened to all she needed to let out. And eventually, they started going out. They still are, but I have a feeling Joseph's return would change something there. I could still see it in her eyes. He was still the one she loved.

"Hey." said Ingrid. "Seen him yet?"

"Yep." I replied. After all these years, I wasn't surprised at how easy it was for her to tell what was on my mind. "What the hell happened to him?"

"Wouldn't we all want to know." she said. "He's so tall. He must be around six feet already. And he's so pale. And how can he be so unblemished? He looks more like he's eighteen than sixteen."

I laughed. Ingrid normally didn't babble on about someone this much. "I know. Do you think he'll still talk to us?"

"Well he can't avoid us." said Ingrid. "I think he owes everyone an explanation."

"Indeed." I said. "Whatever his little mystery is, I'm definitely going to be on to it."

"Count me in."

Over there, Your Draculaness.

I was never really close to Joseph Anza, but I guess you could call him a friend of mine, since I can't exactly call myself one with many friends. Mostly we were just at a working relationship. We've talked some, but we weren't as close as he and Fillmore were. I guess my going away kind of prevented actual friendship, then him going away out of the blue, and so abruptly as well, also contributed to that.

And his return kind of prompted me to be wary. I'd heard from some people that he had quite a special relationship with my girlfriend. I didn't need rumors to confirm that, because Karen came to me because of him. I came back during freshman year. Karen caught my eye right away because of how much she'd changed since I left. I'd hated seeing her miserable. She never outwardly showed she was depressed, but I noticed she never ate. And she always preferred to be alone.

Eventually, she'd opened up to me. Told me about the depression she'd had since winter last year. And we grew closer. I don't know why or how, but I fell in love with her.

Karen had walked into headquarters with a mixture of fear, happiness, and relief in her facial expression. I guessed she saw him already.

She went directly to me. I smiled at her as she did, and she gave me an embrace, and went to her desk to pick up some things for first period homeroom. I had my first period free, so if Anza was around in the halls, I guess I could at least do a little catching up with him and get to analyze him or something.

I needed and wanted to.

I grabbed my sash and nodded off to Vallejo. Honestly, I don't know why he still loves patrol work. It'd given him enough stress, but I guess, like myself and Fillmore, it was probably his nature to try and correct things and actually bring justice to the people that deserved it.

Surprise fucking surprise. Anza was outside. Seriously, he looked like a way fucking hotter and better version of Dracula. It was infuriating how annoyingly calm he was when everyone else he was walking past was practically all over his fucking feet.

Okay, bitter much, but the guy radiates insecurity for all the other guys around him. I'm serious.

"Wayne." he said, nodding his head slightly.

"Anza." I said. "What's up?"

_God_, what a lame question.

"Glad to be home, I guess. Where's the administration office? I hadn't time to study the maps."

He talked normal. What was up with everyone saying that he talked like a regal English dude?

"Second floor, seventh door to your left."

"Ridiculous how large the school is. Thank you." he said, as he made his way to the staircase.

That? That was fucking awkward.


	3. Always Will

**The Mirror**

Hey everyone!

I apologize for the lack of updates. I`m not going to abandon this story, don`t worry. :D

By the way, I`ll be adopting the same Anza family from my other fic **The Playground** so I don`t confuse which family belongs to what story. LOL.

Still don`t own Twilight and Fillmore.

The More You Find Out, the More You'll Need To Find Out

I was very used to getting looked at, so I knew how to ignore it whenever people were staring.

But this time, it was different.

I could feel hundreds of eyes on my back as I walked the corridors with Joseph by my side.

Was it me, or were they moving to the sides to let us pass?

"Ingrid?" he said.

"Huh?" I said, snapping out of my daze.

"I was just asking if gossiping is a common hobby of our schoolmates." he said, in that faintly European accent of his. It was still distinctly Joseph, however. Listening to his already laid back voice back then could drive girls crazy, but more so now, since he developed an accent the girls in school said that they loved. His appearance didn't help either. He sighed. "I can hear some of the things they're circulating amongst themselves."

He kept his gaze fixed ahead of us.

"Actually, yes. And you've been the hot topic."

"I'm aware of that." he said. "But just so you know, I never planned any of this to happen."

What the hell? That caught me off guard. "What do you mean, "any of this"?" I asked.

"In time, Ingrid." he said, as he stopped walking, and placed both his hands on my shoulders. We were at the biology lab already. He sighed, and I found myself looking up, directly at those eyes the color of diamonds when you saw them from those magazine ads.

"I don't like keeping things from you. But be patient. If I tell you now, you won't believe me. And, Ingrid, there is so much that is needed to be said. I need time to compose myself for when that time comes. I would just fear that you would have to find out the hard way."

He bit his lip, the first sign of true emotion that I'd seen from him that day.

"Goodbye." he added curtly, with a nod of his head, and went inside the lab.

I pulled out my cell phone.

_K,_

_Good luck._

_-I._

The more we found out anything, the more we needed to find out more to make sense of what we found out.

But we don't get as good as they say we are by giving up.

Patterns Are Natural Occurrences

For some reason, every few days, Joseph would absent himself. I know he isn't my charge, but figuring since my force was pretty much compelled by this boy, I decided to go see what exactly they were fussing over, and why they were fussing over him. Looks not counted. Definitely he stood out. He looked a hell of a lot more mature than his peers.

Indeed he'd generate buzz from everyone, figuring his leave was the news of year for X at that time. It died down when their freshman year came to a close, I believe, and was never brought up again. Until now, of course. And yes, he has piqued my interest. I'm labeling him a mystery. For now.

I noticed that even Vallejo, who was almost always indifferent, seemed interested. Guess he was pretty close to him too, much as he didn't want to admit it.

I recall that Joseph had silvery-blue eyes when I first talked to him. Yesterday, his eyes were a navy blue. Fascinating if he was experimenting with colored contacts. Today he's absent. How I know? I hear gossip every day. It's been two weeks already, and people have yet to cease talking. Amazing.

So far what I've found out about his family is that his father is the head of the law firm he'd established here years ago. He'd left charge to his friend, Richard Largo, currently one of the most high-profile lawyers of the city. His mother, meanwhile, is a designer for both clothing and interior home design. Exactly why the Anzas were one of the most prominent, established, and most well-respected families, especially among the upper class society. However, they have been known to be very private, and only host parties on birthdays and on Christmas. Other than that, only few have actually been over to their house, which is rumored to be as spectacular as the imagination can go.

He has a brother and a sister. Only, his older brother is off in England, at Oxford University to take up after his father to be a lawyer. His sister is a sophomore here, and has not quite stirred up as much attention as her brother. Like her brother, she possesses extreme grace and impressive stature. It is difficult to impress me, but I find her ethereally beautiful, with pale white skin, long, fiery red hair, and eyes the color of violets. Most people described that she seemed to float by, even if she was wearing the most difficult-to-walk-in five-inch shoes.

I haven't introduced myself, have I? Well, I find that normal. I usually neglect introductions in favor of getting right down to business. One of my many faults.

I'm Christian Marcus. Most know me as the leader of the safety force (safety patrol sounds awfully childish) of X High School. Because that's who I am.

The reason why I put most of my work into the force is because I intend to work in the city's police force when I finish schooling. I'm not wealthy. I don't plan to be. Money is only important to me because I need to survive. I only have enough to get by. My grandfather and father once held positions in the army, and I intend to uphold the honor of serving my country. I know I'm found odd by most people, but they have admitted that they need more people like me.

I noticed that Tehama's still kind of dazed. I haven't actually seen her with either Anza or Wayne recently, but I have a life too.

She'd focused on her work more intently lately, spending almost all her time inside the forensics lab and offering to do more work than necessary. I appreciated that, really, but she needed to relax and stop hiding from him, if that was what she was avoiding.

"Tehama." I said, diverting her attention from a Ziplocked bag of magic markers. She put it down and removed her gloves, walking over to me. Amazing how graceful she was, even under stress. Born a lady, then.

"Yes?"

"Take a break. Get some air. Eat something." I said. "You're looking pale." Briefly, I wondered why pale seemed to be the new tan.

"But I want to finish this."

I sighed. "Whenever you say that, you'll make that another reason for you to finish another thing." he said. "Go on. He's not here today."

She let her breath out. "Okay." she said, turning to the door. She paused, and turned around. "Thanks chief." she said, giving a small smile.

Anza's Still Anza, But Apparently Not His Humanity.

I was having Algebra with Anza today. I wondered, though, if he was coming. I noticed that every few days he wouldn't show up. And if he did show up, I didn't get to talk to him. He was usually off busy talking to his sister, while I was working on the case of the underground marijuana trading group, also known as Case X-01. First big case of the year, since a student council member was rumored to have taken part in it. Rumors proved false, as he didn't know a thing, and his identity was being used to order crates of the stuff.

Going back, I arrived early, since it was the first period of the day and because I was always early in coming to school. Though Christian always beat me. I think he gets here like five in the morning. I can't do that on a daily basis. He must be a vampire or something.

Wait a second, vampire? Where the heck did that come from?

I drank some of the coffee in the paper cup I had brought with me on the way to school. Every so often I'd grab some freshly brewed coffee from the Starbucks just a couple of blocks away. I almost gagged it out since it had gotten quite cold. Ah, the misfortune of having to sit near the AC in HQ.

I rubbed my glasses. It was the only thing I could do. Most of the other students were either sleeping or eating. Some were talking though, and others were doing homework.

Just then, Anza came in and most eyes diverted to him. Casually, he strode over to the seat beside me, as if he didn't notice anyone looking. Maybe he was already used to it. And was it me, or did his eyes gets lighter?

"Fillmore." he said, greeting me with a smile.

"Anza." I reciprocated. "Good to have you back."

"Feels right being back." he said. "I owe you guys a ton of stories."

There were a lot of people listening in, so I knew that asking him about disappearing was a very bad idea.

"Yeah you do." I said. "Things have been crazy while you were gone. How was boarding school?"

His mouth twitched, hinting a smile at the lie. Guess he liked playing the rumors too.

"Good. You wouldn't believe the accommodations there in England." he said. "They were quite grand to say the least."

"Any orgies you got into?" I said, hoping to illicit a response that would break his statue-like demeanor.

He laughed. "Quite, quite. I suppose you have better to offer?"

No matter how gay that sounded, this was hilarious. In a sick way. "You'll get the night of your life. I don't know what it's like there, but here we do things the wild way."

"Excellent." he said, trying to suppress a grin. He turned to face the front. "Anyone care to comment? I know you're listening." He looked down and started scribbling something.

I laughed. It's still Anza.

Then he gave me his notebook, adding, "Look at this crazy building I saw the other day. I drew it here."

Of course that was a lie.

I opened the notebook, and read what he had written.

"What the? Seriously?" I said. "This is pretty weird."

_Fillmore,_

_I went to England. Amazing how you guessed I went to a boarding school. But it was no ordinary school. If I tell you now, you won't believe me. And if you do believe me, you'll think of me as an anomaly. A freak. I swear. I cannot have anyone who is, or was a friend think of me as that.  
_

I took a pen.

_No, I won't. And I am your friend.  
_

_I'm not normal._

_No one is._

He sighed, pulling out his phone, and texting someone. He didn't write on the paper.

My phone buzzed.

_You don't get it, Fillmore._

I texted back.

_What am I supposed to get?_

He bit his lip, and turned to glance at me for a few seconds, and turned away. He clenched his fists, as if trying to decide in a life-or-death situation. And the next thing I know? I hear his voice in my head.

_I know you can hear this. Don't talk. This is what I mean by freak. Just think._

_You're a telepathic? You developed this in that school?_

_If you put it that way, yes. _

_What's that supposed to mean?_

_There are other things I can do apart from this. Heightened senses, mind reading (a variant of what I'm doing right now), speed... a lot more, but I can't say so. My father would kill me. He's like me too. And my mother doesn't know. But Celine and I are both like him. _

_What are you, then? Try me._

I could hear his sigh.

_I can't tell you. But I'm not human._

Before I could relay another thought, he'd broken the connection already, since the bell rang and the Mr. Price entered, his books in hand.

I couldn't get him to talk for the rest of the period.

When the bell rang again to end the class, he relayed another thought to me.

_Tell no one about this. I'll be telling Ingrid when I see her. And trust me. I'll know if you do it._

He gave me a warning glance, and walked out of the room faster than I could comment on that.

All He Wants is to Talk. That's What I Want. So Why Am I Not Happy?

Ingrid looked like she had just heard that she failed a test when she came over to my house that afternoon. But that feeling disappeared as we traded stories of what we did on breaks during the case. I told her how Wayne and I would spend some time out at the orchard, and how she and Fillmore were finally getting taking things as steadies. It was strange how it took them forever to realize that they were completely meant to be.

From eighth grade, Ingrid had grown her hair out, however, she maintained the characteristic bangs. Her face became narrower, and she grew up to five-foot-five, but her eyes were as big and alluring as ever. She also started wearing a little more color, but black was still the dominant one for her.

And I noticed she never tried bringing up the topic of Joseph once.

Interesting. I wonder why she was trying to suppress that topic. She knew I was deeply affected by it, but she also knew I preferred talking about things, no matter how painful, awkward, and inappropriate they were.

So I decided to bring it up.

"Anything new with Joseph?"

"Mm, nothing much." said Ingrid. "He still baffles me, to be honest. Only time I'd been able to talk to him is between classes."

"Oh." I think I sounded a little too disappointed at that. I couldn't work up the nerve to go ask him again. Remembering how I felt the first day, I don't think I would have enough sanity to just walk up to him, much more talk to him.

And the two of us decided to go watch a movie instead.

By the time the movie ended, it was already eight in the evening, and Ingrid decided that she needed to head home.

"K, don't worry. You'll be okay." she said, with a smile. "And thanks for today. I'll see you at school tomorrow."

I gave her a hug as she went out of my spacious room. It was very vintage, because this house had been ours for almost four generations already. It was made of wood and stone, and it was restored to its' original splendor some twenty years ago. The only additions we made to the house were air conditioning and all the electrical wiring for appliances and all. I love this house, but I admit, sometimes, it's pretty scary, since I hear and see spirits, or whatever they are, pass from time to time. My sister also admitted that she too, had seen some of them, so I was glad that I wasn't alone.

I sat down on my bed, and stretched out my legs. It felt good to relax after a hard day's work.

I heard a rap on the door of my veranda.

"What the hell?" I muttered to myself, as I grabbed a taser, ready, in case it was a burglar or rapist or something.

I walked over as silently as I could to the door, and opened it a crack. I peered outside with one eye, and almost jumped, because I saw Joseph himself on top of the balcony fence, leaning on the white column.

Of course. Only he was the one that went to my house this way. When he was alone of course.

"Joseph?"

"Don't remember my famous way of coming to your place?" he said, with a lazy grin on his face.

I laughed. "Right." I said, feeling my heart rate speed up. As if he knew, Joseph gave me a funny glance. "It's just that I didn't expect you."

"Habit I seem to have picked up." he said, as he stepped down in one swift motion, and Karen found herself near him in a distance that was too close for comfort.

He seemed to sense this, and stepped away, though quite reluctantly. He breathed out, and said, "May I come in?"

She nodded. Not like she wanted to say no. And not that she could.

"Thank you." he said. He looked around my room, obviously comparing it from the last time he'd seen it. My antique four-poster canopy narra wood bed was in the same place as it had been for years already. It had silk lilac sheets and white lace covering the soft mattress. The silver flat-screen television replaced the large black one I had before, and a new iMac was sitting on top of the oak desk.

"What do you want?" I managed to ask.

"To talk to you." he said. "That's all I'm asking."

"Then speak."

"I cannot fathom what you must have felt when I left. I--"

"I felt bad for a while, but I'm all right." she interjected, before she could let his words bring her to tears again.

He nodded once. "I'm... pleased to hear that you are well. It's just that in my suddenness, I expected that you would have felt indescribable pain when I did leave." he said. And he paused before saying the next sentence. "Had you felt as deeply as I did for you when I had gone. I suppose not, then. Perhaps I assume too much weakness in females, which I genuinely apologize for."

It was as if he was talking right out of a Jane Austen novel. It was a curious thing for him to speak in this manner. It almost made him seem more charming than he ever was.

"I did feel deeply for you, Joseph." she said. She knew how to lie. Without any movement and facial expression, she said, flatly, "Only, those affections have been focused on Wayne." It was bad to lie, she knew, especially since she thought that she was wearing her heart on her sleeve right now. But she didn't want to leave Wayne. They shared something too precious, but deep inside, she still wanted Joseph to be hers. And she was quite certain that he wanted her as well.

"I see." he said, his silvery eyes betraying his stoic expression. "Just know I still feel deeply towards you, and I believe... I always will."

With that, he went outside, and before I could stop him, he was gone.


	4. The Need to Know

**The Mirror**

Hey there!

I`m thinking of upping the rating due to some content issues I`m planning on doing. Be warned, though, that this chapter is of a much darker nature, with thoughts of suicide, and an actual attempt.

Reason To Lie

There are times when I just can't bear to be who I am.

I don't think I am beautiful. I don't think I am as intelligent as they commend. I dislike how my family is so broken inside yet is so perfect outside. If that were even possible. I hate that I have a sister I cannot talk to, and parents that are away almost 99 percent of the time. I hate how I have everything anyone else would kill to have, but that I find no joy in having them. I hate how I have a boyfriend who fiercely loves me, but that I love another more than he. I hate how I could have the best friend I could ever have and not appreciate her completely for who she is.

And I hate how I think that it would be all better if I were simply gone.

I've thought about this more than anyone would find necessary. And I've thought well.

I live an empty life. I'm alive, but I have no life.

And so, I stare down at the cold, gray stones below my balcony. I look at how inviting the smoothness of the surface is, how it would be like to just lay there, with the last of what I would ever have left.

That was it. It wasn't too far, but where I would go would surely be enough to end it.

I stepped up, and considered leaving something behind. I shook my head, closed my eyes, and expected it to be all over. I was falling.

But it wasn't.

I felt strong arms under me, and when I opened my eyes, I was safely lying on the stones, wondering what happened.

I blinked twice. I'm alive.

I'm not hurt.

But.

How?

I took off, running, and dared not look back.

When my legs tired, I had somehow subconsciously gone to the pier. I fell on the nearest bench, blankly staring out into the sea, and unable to talk, move, or think of anything else except him.

I had no idea how long I sat there, but I heard a voice all of a sudden. I felt no need to look.

"I confess. I knew you were going to be here."

I crossed my legs, a sign that I felt slightly insecure. "Yesterday, Joseph, you ran away from me, and now you expect that I will immediately open up to you? That you can come and go as you please, while I cannot?"

"You are permitted to do so." he said, sighing. "However, it is just that you do not have the ability to locate me whenever you desire to. So, I do that. And I apologize for yesterday."

I was seated on a bench near the pier. The sea was calm, perfectly blue, and still. The sky's hue deepened gradually, as I stared out into the sea, thinking about what I wanted to say. And how I wanted to say it.

"What exactly do you mean?" I asked. "Obviously, you're in a state of heightened senses and abilities. I've seen you do things no one ordinary can. It's almost as if you're inhuman. You can run seemingly without tiring, and at ridiculous speeds, then you save me from falling down my balcony when I decided to jump--"

"You had no right to do that." he said icily, cutting me off much sharper than I had ever heard him speak in my life. I stood up at this.

"And who are you to tell me what I can and can't do?"

He clenched his fists. "If you honestly believe the world would be a better place without you here, you are greatly mistaken, Karen." I flinched at his use of my name. He hadn't mentioned it at all throughout our entire conversation.

"Prove it." I said, flatly.

"Wayne. He thinks about you all the time. He worries whenever you're worried, and if you disappeared, imagine how devastated he would be. He truly thinks that he loves you, but that there is something holding you back from loving him the way he loves you. If I may, it is very uncharacteristic of you to be selfish." he said. "More proof, perhaps?" he said, though clearly not wanting a response from me. "Ingrid is your best friend. As I see it from her view anyway. And let's be honest. She doesn't have many close friends except you guys. What, then, if you haad gone? She could have turned the same way as you did. And your family. Do you honestly think they don't care? Again, you are severely mistaken. They do love you. They just don't know how to show it."

I bit my lip. I didn't want to give him the satisfaction of this. "And how would you know what they feel?"

"When you see things from afar, you will know." he said, as if it were the most logical thing on earth.

"And how do I know that you speak of the truth?"

"Then give me one reason why I would lie."

I folded my arms. I couldn't.

"Just as I thought."

"Why are you telling me this?"

Unblinking, he said, "I told you. I still feel deeply for you, and I expect no reciprocation. But I will continue to keep your best interests at mind. Think of it as a sort of protection. Like you said, it's as if I am inhuman."

"What are you?" I said, surveying him, up and down, though afraid of knowing what it was.

"That is something I cannot say." he said. "I am not permitted to."

"What difference would it make if you tell me or not?" I said, feeling my voice raise out of frustration.

"My father will know. And if word gets out, we'll have to move away for good. And I don't want to. And I can't." he said. "Don't forget that I feel as much as a human would."

"I promise it won't get out."

He fidgeted, conflicting logic and what felt right to him. After a few moments, he took a breath, and sighed. "No. I cannot. I must go." he said, and he ran off, disappearing faster than I could comprehend.

He just doesn't trust me enough.

I Know She's Keeping Something From Me

When Karen had come to the headquarters on Monday, she looked as if she had fallen off from a two-story building. She was bruised, pale, and distant when she came in, and despite her attempts to hide the bruises with makeup, I could still see that they were pretty harsh. She had trouble walking properly despite her best efforts to conceal them.

And she hadn't told me anything.

Of course I was hurt. I'm her boyfriend. I've always been there for her, and I've always given an ear to her whenever she needed it. I also gave her words I never thought I would say in a sentence together. She changed me. And I don't know why she's changing like this.

I thought about the rumors. About her and Joseph. Someone confirmed that they were at the pier last weekend, even though they were just talking. I thought that they were completely over. Apparently, not. There were more things to Karen than I knew. And I despised that she kept them from me.

I know that people all deserve a degree of privacy, but not if it concerns a relationship. Karen should've told me that they were hanging out. I could accept that, as long as she told me and wouldn't go out behind my back. You can't blame me for being hurt.

Because I love her. I love her. And the mere thought of her going out without telling me, and with a guy who was her ex, just plain hurts. Thanks to this, I had trouble focusing in Biology. Professor Hodgkins had to call my attention twice.

I haven't talked to her the entire day. I felt like if I did try, I might just scream at her. And I didn't want to do that. I didn't want to make things harder for her.

So maybe, I should just keep quiet. Maybe, this anger will subside. And then, eventually, this will just become a laughing matter when we look back and think that we were ever unfaithful to each other.

It's my turn to keep something from her.

Vampirism Was Never Far From My Mind

Going to Fillmore's house after school every so often had become habitual for Ingrid. She and Fillmore would spend hours just talking about the randomest things, even though they sometimes made no sense. But this day, Fillmore seemed a bit distracted.

"Hey, what's up?" she asked, wrapping an arm around his shoulders. He smiled a bit.

"Anza. He talked to you, right?" he said.

"Yeah." said Ingrid. "Not human? I don't get it."

"I think he's a vampire. But I can't seem to accept that he's... undead."

"Oh." she said, blankly. "Wait. What?"

"Vampire." said Fillmore. "I'm not kidding. Heightened senses, increased physical abilities, telepathy, the appearance to lure prey..."

"That's not enough... he might just be superhuman. Or a mutant." said Ingrid.

"True, but he said it himself." said Fillmore.

"He could be lying."

"Why would he?"

"I don't know."

"That's not good enough, Ingrid."

"Well, he might have his reasons." Ingrid insisted, stubbornly. She refused to accept that Joseph was only half-alive.

"I know it's hard... but that hasn't been far from my mind. What he is, that is." said Fillmore. "But I truly do believe he is one."

"Has he... bitten anyone?" said Ingrid, feeling her heart race a little. The dangers that this could have...

"I doubt it. I have reason to believe he absents himself every once in a while to feed off of blood." Ingrid shivered at the mention of the word. "But from folklore, I know that it doesn't need to be human blood that they feed on."

"So he can like, hunt bears, animals...?" said Ingrid. "Hmmm. But still. Do you think we should stay away?"

"No. We can't just do that. We can't just ignore him." said Fillmore. "But we'll have to be careful."

Ingrid leaned into him. "I suppose we will."

Diary Entry.

_This is the private journal of Karen Tehama._

_Someday, maybe this journal could be of great use for me. Maybe it could be something I could look back to. Maybe a reminder to myself of how wrong I was today. Maybe it could serve as the only existing logs of memories I've had. Maybe it could even be published as a book. I don't know. But I do know that today provided me with a major turning point in my life._

_Today, I tried to kill myself._

_Today, I was the most selfish I had ever been in my entire life._

_I can't believe myself. I hated my life. I hated everything and everyone. I hated how pathetic I felt. I hated that I felt so empty inside. I hated that I concluded that I was the problem, and that the only solution was to get rid of the problem. _

_I'm scared, really, because of the power of words. I'm scared of myself because I actually wanted to die.  
_

_Today, I was given a second chance at life._

_I can't believe that he saved me. I can't believe how he fought me to keep me from trying to kill myself again. _

_But I'm puzzled by how he knew. How he could be both logical and emotional at the same time without losing control of himself. I'm vexed by his very being. I don't know who he is anymore. But I want to know him. _

_His story is the missing piece in the puzzle of my life. He disappears for two years without a reason, without a trace, and for a while, I thought, without a care for what he did. It's true that it's hard to know the truth the hard way, but still. _

_I need to know the truth._

_The full truth._

_I'm afraid to find out what he is, but I need to know._

_For my sanity's sake.  
_


	5. Looking For Time

**The Mirror**

Hey there!

Thanks for still reading, guys. :) I`m sorry I update less frequently than I should. :\

I Hate Being In Love

I decided that it was best if I would not let anyone know of the attempt I had made to kill myself. And it went without discussion that I was not to mention that conversation I had with Joseph at the pier. I only pray that there would be no snatches of gossip about it, even though I knew the place was rather empty when we were there. Then again, I could never be entirely certain if anyone was there.

And so, I did not expect that Wayne would know something.

Even though he made no mention of it, I knew that he knew.

I felt it in his touch. In his embrace, in his kiss. I knew that he knew. I could literally taste avoidance.

But I could hardly blame him. What we have is truly special. And I love him, I do. But I'm afraid I don't love him the way he does me. No matter how badly I want to see him as the one for me, I can only be limited to see him as a special, special close friend. And I felt terrible about the way I treated him.

I always depended on him to be the shoulder I could cry on, the ear that would always listen to whatever nonsense I would say, the voice that would offer endless comforting words to whatever pains I told him, the arms that would always hold me whenever I felt like just collapsing and breaking down. I always thought I loved him as a boyfriend, but it turns out, I loved him like I loved a friend.

I didn't want to leave him for Joseph. I couldn't.

I didn't want to hurt him. But I couldn't not do it.

I hate how logic and emotions conflict so much. Logic and common sense told me that if I wanted someone, I should end my existing relationship which I am currently not suited for, but my heart tells me that I should just let the past be the past and accept that Joseph and I already had our chance, and whatever it was that made him move away ended it. It wasn't anyone's fault. We just weren't cut out for each other. And besides, Joseph accepted it already.

Indeed, he told me he still does feel something for me, but also that he would only "keep my best interests at mind." Whatever that means, but I detected letting go already. So why am I still desperate to hold on to him?

I hate how love has to be so complicated. It's supposed to bring you some sort of happiness and comfort, but for some reason, it's bringing me the opposite of that.

I don't want to be in love anymore.

I have work to do anyway.

After immersing myself with the day's load of filing, organizing, and patrol duty, I had promised Wayne that we would go to the movies that night. And I fully intend to keep that promise. Thankfully, Joseph and I hadn't run into each other that day.

Yet.

When I was done placing my books in my locker, I heard his voice and Christian's conversing down the hallway. I squeezed myself in the narrow space between two sets of lockers to listen. And I didn't want to get caught.

"I am aware of your family's existence, Joseph." said Christian. "And who you are."

"Well done, then, I suppose." he said. "Your investigation has indeed led you to the correct conclusion."

"I advise that you be careful about your true identity. Once anyone else finds out about this, I believe you know the consequences of this to become public knowledge."

"I am indeed aware." said Joseph. "And I assure you that I will take extreme caution that this will not be known."

"You cannot let your friends know either." he said.

"I am obligated not to. I wish not to harm them, and I do this for their protection, however, they, like you are also very clever." he said. "And I believe that they, too will reach conclusions not far from your own."

"Tell me, how come you came back?" asked Christian. Their footsteps were slow, and the hallways were dark. If they would not turn to the right, they would not catch me at all.

"I could not bear to be away any longer. Two years is a long time, my friend." Briefly, I smiled, happy knowing that they considered each other as friends right now.

"I see. Are there any dangers that you may be around right now?"

"I should believe not. Perhaps there will if there would be another colony or family or group that comes here to hunt."

"Hunt? Humans?"

I nearly gasped at that.

"Yes." said Joseph. "Another reason why I wanted to be here. In the event that happens, I would be here to protect those who are undeserving of death. And besides, no one would go to an area already occupied by more like us within the fifty-mile radius of a currently existing group."

"I sincerely hope that does not happen."

"Relax." said Joseph. "That event is highly unprobable."

"I am pleased to hear such."

"It's been a pleasure to speak with you, Christian." he said. "And I will think about your invitation to join the squad once more. I still desire to do so, however, I am unsure if it is still fit for my character to do so."

"I respect whichever decision you make."

"Goodbye."

After I was halfway sure that no one was there (for Joseph walked very lightly, despite his height), I went out and headed for the school exit, head slightly spinning from what I learned. What did they mean by hunting humans? And how did Christian conduct such quick personal investigation without anyone's knowledge? Well, he was really very clever then.

I swore to myself when I saw that it was raining outside. I mentally calculated how long it would take if I sprinted home. It wasn't very far, and so I pushed open the large green doors leading to the outside. Fortunately, I had a jacket with me. I shrugged it off of my shoulders, but before I could step into the rain, someone's cold hand stopped me.

I turned in his direction.

He held out a silver umbrella, wordlessly.

"What are you doing?" I asked.

"Keeping my promise." he said, still holding the umbrella.

"Will you be all right?"

He nodded. "Go. It's just rainwater."

Before I could think about what I was doing, I found myself kissing his cheek.

"Thank you." I sputtered, after a few tense moments.

His face remained still as he gave me a polite nod. But his eyes lied. He felt something there.

Worse so, I did too. And I had a smile on my face as I was walking away from him.

If Karen Knew That I Knew.

She certainly didn't show it. She surprised me too, because when I saw her, she looked so much happier than she did the entire year so far. Her cheeks showed a faint glow to them, and her eyes had a playful sparkle to them. We promised to meet each other at the movies tonight. And I'm glad she kept her promise. I couldn't help but smile.

I took her hand, and then wrapped my arm around her shoulder. It felt nice for her to draw in closer to me, and I felt a few eyes on us as we entered the movie house. It was great.

I found keeping secrets from her to be quite easy. And now, since she wasn't hinting a thing that she knew, it became easier than it was supposed to be.

Everything was great up until I brought her home.

She confirmed one of my biggest fears.

"Can we talk, please?" said Karen, as we passed a rather peculiar setting of rocks near the window of her room.

"Sure." I said, not expecting, albeit slightly worrying.

"You won't like this."

I frowned. Way to end a great night. But I nodded.

"Wayne, I tried to kill myself."

I felt my grip on her hand tighten instantly. I opened my mouth to speak, but she stopped me.

"I tried. I'm sorry." she said. "I just couldn't take it anymore."

"Do we have to go over this again, Karen?" I said, my voice slightly raising.

"No. I'm sorry. But I couldn't keep this from you anymore. You deserve the truth." she said.

A few moments of tense silence followed. I didn't know how to respond.

"What made you change your mind?" I said, finally.

"What?"

"What made you change your mind?" I repeated. "Why didn't you try again? What stopped you?"

I feared the answer. And I knew the answer. The silence that followed confirmed it.

And I felt my chest tighten at the mere thought of the name.

His name.

"Joseph." I said, through gritted teeth. "It was him, wasn't it? The one that saved you, the one that always does. I'm just never good enough for you, am I? You lied. You were never over him. You just wanted a replacement for him until he came back."

"Wayne, please don't take this the wrong way. I'm not in love with him!" she said. "I'm just saying--"

"Don't lie to me anymore, Karen! I'm tired of a one-way relationship." he said. "I don't want us to be over. No. Not yet. Maybe not ever, but I'm not sure. But I think... we need time apart. As if there wasn't enough time we spend apart. But I don't want this now." I said. It hurt me to say this. But I couldn't let myself be used as a tool to mend someone's heart without being shown back what I felt for her. Who knew, maybe I would find someone else.

Or maybe I wouldn't.

But the damage was done. I'd spoken out already.

"If that's the way you want it. Fine." she said, angry tears already spilling down her face. She sped off into the house without so much as a goodbye.

Fuck my life.

He Wanted Time Out

And to be honest, so did I. Things were really not working out between us. I was never in love with him, to be honest. What he said was kind of true. I hated having to hurt him like that.

The only one that broke you is the only one that can fix you.

And indeed, the truth always comes out.

Somehow, the truth can be sensed. Somehow, even though the truth is hidden, there is an innate ability within oneself to sense what truth is from lies.

As if there wasn't enough guilt to haunt me, the ghost of my past suddenly comes knocking at my window. Literally.

I walk over to the balcony window and was not surprised at the silver eyes staring at me from the other side. I let him inside, and he entered gracefully, hardly making a sound. How he always managed to get up there, I don't know. As a human, he could scale the wall within a minute or so. As this superhuman, it must've just taken him ten seconds.

"So, thanks for the umbrella today." I said.

"You're quite welcome. Did you make it to the movies without incident?" he asked.

"Yes. Though I think you must have heard my little argument outside." I said, my arms crossed.

"It was impossible not to hear." he said. "What happened?"

"I don't know, actually." I said. "But it has a great deal to do with you."

"I believe that I have done nothing to make him feel insecure towards your relationship with him." he said. Clearly, he refused to acknowledge the obvious. I was obviously still attached to him.

"What are you?" I asked.

"What do you believe I am?"

"I think you're superhuman." I said. "A supernatural being."

"And why so?" he asked. He appeared to know the answer. His expression was difficult to read. Was he amused? Or was he simply curious to know the reason why I thought he was like that?

"I can't explain it. But you saved me. You saved me from the time I tried to kill myself when I jumped. I didn't die. I was supposed to." I said. "You're not the same Joseph I knew two years ago."

"People change, Karen." he countered. "And what makes you think I would have the capability to save you from such a fall?"

"You have abilities that normal people don't possess. What happened to you?" I asked. I was honestly getting frustrated. I could never get a straight answer out of him. It was as if he had been time warped to a century before for two years, and was warped back."I've answered your question; why can't you answer mine?"

"Patience is a virtue many lack." he said. "Though I will honor your request for answer, by saying that you are correct. I am not human anymore."

"I can never get an answer out of you."

"Neither can you give Wayne an answer of your own." he said.

That just struck me. I stood, eyes flashing.

"You have no right to interfere with my business and Wayne's." I said. "Just because you hear them, it doesn't mean you can insult me by saying that I am a liar."

"I made no mention of such."

"You _implied _it." I said.

"What do you think I am, then?" he asked, seemingly unaffected by what I had said. I was ready to hit him, but I knew it would be pointless, as he probably wouldn't feel a thing if I tried.

"I've already told you." I said. "I told you that I think you're not human. And you confirmed it. Happy I answered?"

He crossed his arms. "I'd forgotten how it was like to deal with human females." he said. "This is too dangerous. You're partly right. What kind of superhuman, as you call it, is what I want to hear from you."

I exhaled.

"You're one of them, aren't you?"

"What?"

"Vampires."

He smiled at me, for the first time in years. I could actually see the old Joseph somewhere in that marble of a man that he was right now. With a mischievous glint in his eyes, he said,

"You have no idea what you're in for now."

Before I could even ponder on whatever he meant by that, he had swept me off my feet, and now, we were out of the window, and I found myself clutching on to him for dear life.


	6. The Conduit

**The Mirror**

I'm not giving up on this. I've typed this chapter up three times already, and it kept getting lost or something, so I was kind of discouraged for a while. :/ But here it is.

Watching the Night Go By

I don't recall spending so much time on the shore of a beach, drinking nothing but a bottle of mind-numbing Bacardi 151. It was insane how I was walking around alone with such a high-proof alcoholic drink, but it didn't matter to me. I was regretting breaking things off with Karen. I didn't know why I did that. In my rage, I guess I wasn't able to control the bitterness I felt. I called Fillmore to make sure I didn't do anything stupid. It was a wonder that I was still walking straight after downing five gulps of the drink. I was, however, feeling a little dizzy already.

I suppose my alcohol tolerance is pretty high because of how I grew up. My father owns a liquor business here, and he's been, for the most part, successful. Even as a kid, I'd already developed a taste for the stuff. My liver probably hates me for the abuse I've been giving it, but the good die young, don't they?

Oh my, not again. I'm having the wrong thoughts again. This is ridiculous. Where the hell is Fillmore?

I stumble on the shore. It's ridiculous, really. The shore wasn't even that sloped, and yet here I am, stumbling.

_Wayne Legitt, don't do anything stupid, _I thought.

"Wayne, is that you?"

"Who's there?" I said, going into a defensive stance.

"Relax, buddy. It's just me."

Oh. It was O'Farrell. Thank God. But I didn't want him to see me like this. I was half-drunk and pretty much depressed. It was impossible to get my mind off of Karen. I needed to apologize. I needed time, though, to compose myself and figure out what I needed to say to her. That I spoke before I thought, and that I should've been more understanding towards her.

"Wayne, you're talking out your thoughts."

"What?" I hadn't even realized I was talking. "Shit, sorry, Danny. I'm just... not dealing well with the post-break-off-for-a-while repercussions. You understand, right?"

"You're talking in slurs, but I understand what you're saying." he said. He was surprisingly very mature now. Still childish, a little clumsy, but mature nonetheless. He was actually taller than I was now. "Gimme that." He took the bottle from my hands and took a swig.

"151. No wonder you're tripping over your own feet." he said. "Don't worry, bud, pain is evanescent."

"Cheers to that." I said. "Pain is ephemeral."

It only occurred to me that O'Farrell drank. What the hell? How come I never noticed that?

"So you drink now?"

"Yeah. My sister took me to a party that changed my life." he said. "It was insane. One of those open party things and she had me drink like there was no tomorrow. Bad influence she is." he said, laughing at the memory. "I woke up with such a headache, but she came to my bed that day and told me she was proud of me. Apparently I made out with one of her friends that night."

"No kidding. I didn't think you've kissed a girl yet. No offense." I said. "Or a guy."

"Nah, it was a girl. At least that's what she said to me." he said. "I'm hoping I really did not make out with a guy, because that would be so wrong."

"Kid, homosexuality's pretty much acceptable these days, so no worries there."

"Well, I don't really accept it." he said. "It just doesn't seem right to me."

"Then you've got a good head on your shoulders." I said, taking another gulp of the drink. I felt it burn my throat, but I liked the feeling. "Just remember. Girls can break your heart. No matter how adorable, cute, beautiful, or charming they are, they will always hurt you. Pain, while short-lived, is inevitable. So you've got to find a girl that's worth it all in the end."

"That what you're trying to find out with Te-- Karen?" he said, fiddling with the string of something I couldn't see.

"Yeah. I'm sure she's worth it. But I'm not sure if she's for me."

He sighed. "Want me to be honest?"

"I appreciate honesty, Danny. I've been lied to too many times in my life."

"It seems like she still has it for Anza. They've always had it for each other, and that desire for each other has never seemed to diminish up to now. Quite frankly I was surprised when you two got together. I thought she was over him, but then he came back." he said, leaving the words _And ruined it _unsaid, but somehow lingering in the air. "Now I'm sure they're together somewhere."

I didn't doubt that. I had told Karen I needed time off, so who else would she run to? I mean, there was always Ingrid, but she and Fillmore had been together a lot lately that it seemed unlikely to me.

"They just want to fuck each other." I said, in my drunken stupor. I heard Danny laugh uncomfortably. I was losing it.

"You know, you should get home." he said. "Although I'm not quite sure how to get you home."

"Father knows I get drunk. He actually gave me the bottle." I said. Words were just slipping off my tongue. "Sorry Danny if I says anythings that are stupid." Oh God.

"O'Farrell?" I heard the voice of Fillmore exclaim from afar. "That you, man?"

I think I must have slumped to the ground at this point. I could barely make out what words they were saying. The last thing I remember, though, was Fillmore saying something along the lines of, "You'll be okay, buddy." And then I blacked out.

Holding On

Clutching on to his neck proved a far more difficult task than I had imagined. Closing my eyes made it possible for me to remain calm, as opening them made me dizzy beyond the kind of dizzy I had when we played a game of spinning in circles when I was a child. I remember actually scraping my knee because of that.

To him, however, whatever he was doing seemed so banal to him, as if he were simply walking to his room. I didn't feel much exertion in his muscles, but I felt that we were moving faster than what was deemed normal.

I chose to simply think. I didn't know where we were going. I didn't know what he was going to do with me. I didn't care if he was going to kill me. But a part of me also knew that he couldn't do such a thing. Then I thought of Wayne. It hurt me to see him hurt. It really did. I hated myself for being so cruel to him. But I couldn't force myself to feel something he wanted me to feel towards him. And that was to fall in love with him the way I fell in love with Joseph. I didn't intend for this to happen. I thought that Joseph would be gone forever. A part of me wished that he were still gone. Then none of this would've happened. Then again, another part wanted him here. I needed him here. I needed to know a lot of things.

I deserved to, didn't I?

He'd hurt me, and I couldn't just accept him with open arms, no matter how much I wanted to. So I decided to get some answers before making myself vulnerable to him. Who knew what he was planning to use me for. I wasn't sure of his intentions. I've been stupid before. But I learn from my mistakes.

Finally, I felt him slowing down. I decided opening my eyes was not an option until we came to a complete stop. Safety first, of course.

It occurred to me that we hadn't spoken a word throughout the entire time we were going here. I suppose he was in a deep reverie of his own. Although I wouldn't really know how he could both be lost in thought and move about as fast as a speeding car at the same time. Well. Joseph was an admirable multitasker back then, and I wouldn't be surprised if that trait retained. It may have even developed.

"Karen."

"Karen."

What?

"Huh?"

"Open your eyes." he said, his voice only above a whisper.

And I did. I opened my eyes to a clearing. I didn't know how deep we were in the woods, but this appeared to have been a camping ground before. I saw several edible plants nearby, and a flowing stream of fresh water to the left of the tree stump beside the fire pit. It was fairly beautiful and well-kept for a camping ground. Most of those I've been to weren't as cared for as this was. I could see it in the neatness of the way the things were arranged. Most of the things were arranged in a purposeful manner. I could only assume that Joseph had been here before.

He seated himself on the log beside the fire pit, and motioned for me to do the same.

"The transient period of our childhood was spent here in the Clandestine, and after we were changed, we decided we had to outgrow this. I still come here though, and I wouldn't be surprised if Jared still does. I'm waiting for the day when we would both go here again. Just like old times." he says, wistfully. "I do long for those days again, but sadly, destiny has decided to fulfill its course, and there is no going back anymore. I must commit myself to my task. It is also partially the reason why I am here again."

"Why exactly did you leave, Joseph? And why did you come back?"

"The most complex stories take the longest to be told." he said. "Destiny fulfilled a prophecy two years ago, when we discovered that we were a link to a centuries-old chain that has been in our family ever since. We have always had the daunting duty of protecting this town."

"Protecting this town from what?"

"Others like us. Only, with darker intentions. They intend to kill, to destroy, even to mutilate humans, and use them for wicked acts of sorcery. The time draws near as they are planning to ravage an attack. The danger is that we do not know when. And so, when we come of age, we are transformed. Into this."

"You're not making any sense, Joseph. Why would there be those things that would want to kill us?" I said, disbelieving. I didn't understand why this had to happen. Why us?

"Karen, do you recall the massacre of 1742? The background of the massacre is not what the history books tell us. The massacre occurred not because of radical actions, but rather because they condemned a man who cursed them before his death. He was an innocent Spellbinder, who only wished to protect them from the Dark Forces. The radicals only killed because of political unrest at the time, and because they thought that those who had killed before were those who concurred with their ideals. They were sadly mistaken, as the Dark Forces preyed upon this town due to their instability, and have since always sought human lives from this place to serve as their sacrifices in order to continue their dabbling with the dark magic." he said. I imagined all this going on in my head. I saw how gruesome it was. It was as if I had seen this somewhere before. It was as if I knew this happened, at the same time didn't.

"You have a part in this, Karen, somehow. Ever since Great Albrecht, my great ancestor, has spoken to me regarding this matter, I have been unable to shake your image from my mind, no matter how hard I tried. I don't know what you have to do here, but I pray that it is nothing that will cost your life." he says, reaching out his hands, as if wanting to hold mine, but didn't move to do so. I see a hint of emotion in his eyes, one of the few that I have seen since his return. "I will do everything I can do to protect you. But please promise me you will do the same to protect yourself."

"Is this why you saved me from the fall?"

"I saved you for two reasons. Indeed, one is because you are important to this. And because you're meant to live. Had you fallen, you would still be alive, but severely weakened. And that wouldn't do for either of us." he said. "It would only make things more complicated. Fate has its ways of making anything it aims to, to become true."

He didn't mention the second reason.

"I suppose you're right. Well. Thank you, then." I said. I didn't know what else to say. "What's the second reason?"

"Never mind that. All you should know is that you are important." he said. "It would be difficult to be without you."

He told me, before, that he still felt something for me. I don't know anymore if what he said was true. Or if he just wanted to make me feel better at the time.

I didn't know what to feel, or what to think. All I knew was that whatever this prophecy was, I had to play a part in it, whether I wanted to or not. I was in for a world of trouble, and I didn't know why it had to be me. I wanted to cry, but I felt as if my tears were locked in, as if they were telling me that you knew this all along, and that it shouldn't come as a surprise. All of my life I've always tried to find a purpose for mine. I suppose this was mine. Whatever this is.

I felt his icy hands on mine. I let myself open up to him, and I felt myself in his embrace. It was strangely comforting, for we both didn't know what else to do. I don't know how long we stayed like that, but I was grateful for it. The next thing I noticed was how dark the sky was getting.

"Do you want to go home?" he asked, his lips barely brushing my left ear, leaving a tingling resonance. I couldn't help but sigh a little.

"No. Not yet. I want to stay here with you." I said, my words beating all sense and logical thinking that I had right then and there. I didn't intend for that to come out, but the damage was done. He didn't make any comment, though, and let me lie in his arms. He pointed out constellations, their histories, several stars, and their names and stories about them. He knew so much. I didn't know if I could remember everything he said, but I loved to listen to the sound of his voice, and remembered nights we spent just like this, before everything changed. If only we could stay like this forever.

His face was so close to mine, and I turned my head to him. He did, as well, and as we were both leaning in, he abruptly pulled away.

"I should take you home."

Lassitude

Weakness is not in my nature. I have made errors, but I have never been vulnerable. I believe it was right for me to have taken her to speak of the circumstances which she has been placed under, while at the same time my conscience conflicts, saying that perhaps she should have just found out when the time was right. But I believe that in order to fulfill whatever task was expected of her, she was to have the necessary preparation than to perform her duty extemporaneously. I am on my own mission to find her role in this catastrophe, but in warning her, she might be able to discover it before I do.

Jared chastised me for revealing it too early. He thought that the time was not apt yet.

"Joseph, how could you? You have betrayed the secrecy of the prophecy. But then again, it is right that she knows. Either way, she is still a part of this. I too, have had visions about her, though they are visions with meanings of which I cannot decipher." he said. "I believe that this catastrophe will be near. I can never be certain when we are ready, but I believe that despite our currently vast knowledge, there is still much for both of us to learn."

"The prophecy states that the twenty-third generation will be the most powerful. Would that be us, my brother?"

"We are, indeed, the twenty-third generation. Only, as Great Albrecht has said, we have not been able to harness our true powers just yet. He claims that we have abilities beyond even their comprehension, and that he hopes that the training he will give us will be sufficient enough for us to choose the right thing when the moment comes for us to receive this power." says Jared. "Joseph, I trust you will use yours wisely."

"Brother, I will. I will to do the right thing, always. That is why I have told her."

"Your intentions are well, but your actions have not been appropriate. I know you love her, Joseph, but will you be able to let her go when the time is right?"

I stop.

"My thoughts exactly. My dear brother, they will use her to exploit your weakness. They may manipulate her into severing yourself from your duty, and trust me, they will focus on taking you out in order to get past the defense you should provide. Maybe that is her role." he said. My blood runs cold, or whatever remains of it.

"It cannot be. She cannot be the conduit. It cannot be."

"Joseph, I think it is she who is the conduit. There is no one else."

"No." I say, over and over, until my voice rises in disbelief. "NO!"

"Calm down." says Jared. I am standing stiffly, in front of what was once a full wall. He does not hesitate to place his arms around my neck, and I soften under his touch. I slump in his arms, unable to control myself in the midst of the torrent of emotions which I have not felt in so long. I didn't believe it was possible for me to feel human again. "Destiny paves its own path, but love always finds a way despite that. If you and Karen are meant to be together, you will be together."

If there were still tears that existed, they would have gone out by now. But they didn't. I'd forgotten how to cry long ago.

But I felt weak.

Listless.


End file.
